The need to have difficult conversations with people comes up all the time in business, and for a variety of reasons. Most people, executive management included, feel immense stress and anxiety from the very prospect. Difficult conversations usually go very poorly when filled with accusations, assumptions, egos and emotions. The following is some advice to make difficult conversations a bit less difficult.
Research:
Try to research every possible angle of the issue before the conversation takes place. One view (your view) is never the complete accurate picture in situations involving others. Do research allowing you to confirm or adjust your assumptions. Lightly probe the person involved as well as others who might have additional information on the matter from a different point of view.
Strategize:
Once you have confidently confirmed or adjusted your assumptions, strategize how you will handle the ‘difficult conversation’. Visualize in your mind how you want it to go. Work though it and take out accusations, ego and emotion. Be calm, humble, factual, matter-of-fact and open minded. Create a structure to follow during the meeting.
The Conversation:
Create a somewhat comfortable environment and then explain to the person that there is an issue you would like to discuss. Present the issue you have and then ask the person their thoughts on it. Listen to what they have to say without interrupting and probe until they have nothing left to say.
If you did your research well, you may have forecasted what their response would be to the presented issue and have created a planned response supporting your argument. However, be prepared that other possible valid explanations or views could be introduced in their response to the issue. This is where listening is key and you should still remain open-minded until you have heard all final remarks from the person, allowing you to then possibly adjust your final position on the issue.
Now that you have all information on the issue and are in the heart of the conversation with the person, state your (initial or revised) position on the matter; as emotionless as possible, and firm. Then detail next steps that you want or require to happen. Ask if the person understands your view on the matter and if it is clear what you desire or require as a remedy. Once all is confirmed, explain that you will follow-up and end the meeting.
Summary:
Difficult conversations can be a lot less difficult if you just prepare better for them. Research is important to see the issue from more than just your side, to if need be, adjust your position to one more closer to accuracy. Use strategy to increase the chances of the meeting going the way you want it to; successful and professional. Listen during the conversation to hear any new viable information that might have been overlooked and to let the person know you are interested in hearing their views and having a fair two-way conversation. Then make calm and clear your view and the desired or required remedy. See…a lot easier!
Tags : conversation, diolog, strategy, диалог, разговор, стратегия
Замечательно, это ценный ответ
Помогите пожалуйста не могу подписаться на рсс, напишите мне на email пожалуйста как и что делать.
Поклон вам! Интересный пост получился Так держать!
Да, реально в этом что-то такое есть. А раньше я был довольно наивен
Ну что ж - времена изменились 
Интересно написано. А это все на основе личного опыта?
Хм… Пока это у нас не очень сильно развито, так что придётся чуть подождать.
Хм… Ну у вас или талант писать, или это скопировано откуда-то!
А можно скопировать пост к себе? Ссылку конечно поставлю=)
Интересная идея. Интересно сколько времени на это потрачено?
Teri,
In the current difficult times I had to (and probably will) go through quite a number of difficult conversations with my staff. What I found very useful during such conversations is what you decribed well in your comment - Be calm, humble, factual, matter-of-fact and open minded - this sure helps.
Thx and keep posting! Nice site in fact.
Teri,
Thanks a lot for the great article. It is absolutely crucial for everybody to know how to handle everyday communications with different people or stress interview.